03 August 2006

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

You know how some movies have little vignettes at the very end of the film? After the credits have run, the star shows his smiling mug and tells you to go home – already - or perhaps trip over a few lines in a blooper reel for your amusement, whatever. What I want to
know is what Hollywood moron came up with that shit!?

Nowadays, when you go to a movie with someone you don't know, there's that awkward question: do they like to sit through 10 minutes of credits for 3 frames of cinematological magic, or would they rather get the hell out before the bars close.

You can't blame someone for wanting to stick around after paying $10 for a ticket and $8 for snacks but that's not my style. I'd prefer to just leave because I don't want to perpetuate the idea that us movie-going consumers will sit through any amount of tripe for a little treat. That's how we got ourselves into the situation we're in now. I refer, of course, to pre-movie advertising. Showing up on time for a movie is like begging for 20 minutes of big screen, Technicolor, Hollywood-produced marketing. If we'd refused to show up for this kind hoodwinking in the first place, the idea would have passed like Martin Sheen's kidney stone – slowly, painfully, but with ultimate finality. We can't relive the past, but we can make tomorrow a better place to live.

So how about you? Do you stay or do you go?

02 August 2006

Aged Wine

I went to the grocery store this evening to buy myself a bottle of wine and at checkout, the woman asked for my ID! I told her, "I have underwear old enough to drink". She just looked at me and blinked. Kids - no sense of humor. How do you react to being carded if you're pushing 40? I'm too old to chalk it up anything but momentary insanity or pure blindness. But too young to say, "bless you, child!".